Right now, I'm trying to make patience my mantra but it's hard. It's hard when all I want to do is run, run, run! I guess this recovery is teaching me patience. I have not run yet, which is a miracle. I'm mostly feeling in no pain, though certain movements do cause pain (and whenever someone (inc. my cat) bumps into my incisions, which seems to happen way too often). The rest of this week I plan on resting, sleeping, and taking walks when I feel up to it. I hope to have a smooth recovery to running.
I've had a pretty crazy year. Thinking back to a year ago, my life was completely different. I went from living with someone who I was going to spend my life with to being completely stepped on by them and being single. I went from feeling healthy to having surgery that reshaped my confidence in my health (and has prevented me from running for at least 2 weeks!). I went from feeling like I understood the world and my future...to not knowing what comes next.
I don't know where I'm going. Maybe I'll be single my whole life, just running lots, working, traveling. Maybe I'll fall in love with someone I meet buying milk tomorrow. Maybe I'll quit my job and become a dancer on a cruise ship. Maybe none of these things will happen, and maybe all of them will. I don't know. I just know I have to not plan so much and be ready to welcome anything that comes my way with open arms.
Still, I can plan and dream. Right now, I'm planning on upping my training once my doctor approves. I hope to start training twice a day, doing a lot of commuting on my feet. I hope to go sub-24 at Vermont. I want to do Leadville 100 Miler. I want to do the Sri Chinmony 6 day race in Flushing. I want to get my book published. I want to see my grandfather live to his 91st birthday. I want to help my sister run her first marathon. I want to travel around Central America. I want to dye my hair pink, again. I want to get another piercing in my ear. I want to surf better.
And I don't want to just want - I want to do these things. And I will.