28 October 2008

cherie needs advice: should i stay or should i run?

i'm having difficulty making a decision.

after i ran the vt 50 miler, i became addicted. that high...oh, it was amazing. (or maybe it was all the cake i consumed while running?) i want do do another 50 miler...so badly. i really want to do a 100k.

why? b/c once you do one, you crave more...even those times at the vt50 miler, when i was dealing with tummy troubles, i still was having fun.

so i want to do the san fran north face challenge...it's supposed to be a great race, lots of fun. it all comes down to money. should i spend $300 on plane fare, $100 or whatever it is on race fees, and assorted other moneys (food, etc.) to do one race? i can probably stay with an old college friend, but i also don't know how i'm getting in and out of SF to the race (which is a 30 min ride outside of the city).

i want to do another race before i go to argentina...but should i pick one more local? the only ones i can really do within driving distance are the mendoza 50k one week after the nyc marathon (ouch!) or the fells trail race on nov 29. should i save my money for doing lots of ultras next year? probably. but i can't decide...this looks so fun.

travel updates

i'm going to argentina instead of ecuador.

i will tango my way into your heart. or stumble.

i may stop at uruguay along the way. plans include patagonia, iguazu falls, buenos aires, hitting up the coast (beaches! surfing! sun!). maybe tierra del fuego instead of patagonia?

you'll miss me over the holidays, but we can eat those red & green m&ms in the new year.

i think i'm going to take up a gentler sport...like football

who knew running was a contact sport?

of all the crazy trail races i do, the time i get the most injured running is in front of a club in my neighborhood on a street i've probably run down 100 times. i was running with crista, chatting abt nyc decompression (we went on sat and had a blast -- i'll post photos soon) when suddenly, i was tripping over a piece of sticking up concrete and hit the pavement and SLID! the palms of my hands are covered in cuts and are sore (and typing is slightly painful), my right shoulder is missing a large hunk of skin, there are cuts, scrapes and bruises on my elbow and legs and knees. ow.

then, this morning, miserable rain, gale-force winds, i did my last speed run (15 min tempo at MGP, 8xaccelerations of 150-200 meters) and just as i was finishing my tempo run (which i actually planned on doing 20 min), i slid as i was pushing it across the street. luckily, there were no cars, but i completely slid into a puddle, slamming into the ground. my left knee was throbbing, my gloves and pants were soaked, and i was more miserable than i have been in a while. my palms are still smarting from sunday's smash into concrete, and my shoulder is aching and it hurts to lift my arm.

but you know what? i'm so psyched for sunday's nyc marathon!

27 October 2008

happenings: excerpts from my second grade journal

March 18, 1987
My wish would be that if Ann-Marie could be my sister. We would be sisters forever. I wish it we were sisters. Then we would get bunk beds. I would have such fun. I would love for Ann-Marie to be my sister.

April 6, 1987
Today is Monday, April 6, 1987. We have been having a lot of rain. When it rains I go downstairs and take my sister and play dress-up. I said, "I'm the mother and you're the baby." And I like to play with my hamsters. When we play dress up I put on the fanciest dress, hat, coat, and a fancy purse. And I dress up my sister too. I always have fun!
And sometimes I play school and read. I read my library books too.

May 11, 1987
Last week was my commioun [sic]. It was fun. In the church when my brother recieved the host he put it in his pocket. I had fun on my ommoiun [sick]. At the party I got one toy. It was a little bear that said "You're tops." It was from Eryn. I ate zita and hero and salad and juice. My mom made a punch with Lemonaid, Fruit Punch and Gingeral [sic]. My aunt let the kids drink until my mom saw Erin take some. The cake was good! I had fun on my commoiun. I had to read long loines on the aulter [sic]. The lord is my shepard.
This entry has a scary picture of me standing on an alter. I mean, an aulter, with a blinking microphone. Ah, the eighties.

May 18, 1984
Today is Monday, May 18, 1984. I had fun at my cousin Michelle's party. We had fun. Kristeena brought two whooler whoops [sic]. When we ate the cake I sat next to Michelle. She was the sloopiest [sic] eater. Michelle got a kitchen set. She was only one years old! My Aunt gave us party bags. In the party bags I got a bracelet, a twinkie, a mint, and a tootsie roll pop. We had fun.
On Sunday I went over Nicole's house. First we had a swirl pop. Then the ice cream man came and we got ice cream. I had fun!
The person downstairs of Nicole's house moved! We played hide 'n seek down there. We had lemonade and heat doritos! We watched the Wizard of Oz! "Boy," did we have fun!! I had fun when my Grandma came over! I missed her. She went to Florida.

June 3, 1987
Today is Wednesday, June 3, 1987. Yesterday we went to Bethpage Village. First we took the bus on the trip. I sat with Rebecca. We talked. I brought a little game in my pocket called Ring Toss. Then we went to Bethpage and went to the gift shop. I bought a little pink china doll. I was going to buy a rabbits foot but I thought of my rabbit being killed. We ate lunch after. I sat with Ann-Marie, Theresa, and Lisa Ann. We saw a movie. It was about the olden days. It was a really good movie. I wanted to see the Village. Last we went on the bus. I sat with Rebecca again. We played Ring Toss again. We talked. We opened our gifts and played with them. I had a good time at Bethpage. We had no homework.

June 5, 1987
Summer Fun
Today is Friday, June 5, 1987. IN summer I like to go to the beach. I like to eat lunch at the beach and make sand castles and swim. I like to walk and pick up shells. I like to get a sun tan.
One time I made a sandcastle that needed water. It was close to the water. At the beach I always have fun.

23 October 2008

naomi wolf quote

the real issue has nothing to do with whether women wear makeup or don't, gain weight or lose it, have surgery or shun it, dress up or down, make out clothing and faces and bodies into works of art or ignore adornment of it altogether, the real problem is our lack of choice.

21 October 2008

happenings: excerpts from my second grade journal

Today is October 14.
The rain is wet.
But it's not dry.
I feel mad because I'm having Ann-Marie over my house today, and we will not be able to go outside.
So we will go downstairs, and my sister's friend Eryn will come over.
Well when we're in the basement, they come down and put on the record player and put on the song, Rain Rain, go away, Come again another day.
By the way my sister has the prize popple. I love my sister, but I hate, Eryn.
I like rainbows.

Today is Monday, November 24, 1986.
I feel happy because I got two gerbils on Friday, and one Saturday we got more. We have three [sick] mails.
I like them a lot.
There [sic] names are Midnight, Orange, and Da. [I don't remember these; they must not have lived long.]
They eat raisins and cherries.

December 15, 1986
Christmas is coming.
There are only ten days till Christmas. I feel good because my sister is always a chatterbox so I won't get sleep and I can see Santa Claus. I wonder what he will give my brother and my sister and me! He puts small things in your stocking. I wonder how the elves are working? I will give Santa Claus cookies and milk. I will give the raindeer [sick] carrots and cerly [sic]. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Today is January 5, 1987.
On Christmas I got a Furskin, a radio, a baton, a bookmark and the Heart Family Playhouse from Santa. I got My Child and the My Child Stroller. And Fluppy Puppy. I got Miss Piggy lip glass and Miss Piggy nail polish.
My brother wanted his prensent [sic] early. He cried. I gave it to him. So did my sister. She did no give anybody anything. My grandma got something specil [sic], her ears pearced [sick]]. I saw Mary Poppins.
Ann-Marie sleept [sic] over. We stayed in bed till 11:59. We had popcorn.

Today is Wednesday, January 7, 1987. After school I like to play with Ann-Marie. We play with our dolls, we play barbie, dress-up, and drawing.
Sometimes we watch T.V. But we say "Melissa you can't play." Then she cries. Then we play. We go outside.

17 October 2008

clavicles as a sign of beauty

In our country, thinness=beauty. It's our national obsession here in the U.S. (and in many other countries as well). I wonder if there is a correlation between the rising obesity crisis and our obsession with thinness and hating our bodies?

I am not obese. I'm actually considered thin. I like to think I'm athletic. My arms are thin (though they are growing muscles, which is very exciting), my legs are all muscle ("I want legs like yours. How can I get them?" "Run for 16 years, and focus on ultramarathons and marathons for at least 4 of those years."), but I've always had issues with my stomach. I've hated it, moaned, "I'm so fat," way too many times when I'm not. Why do I engage in this hating?

Recently, I lost a bunch of weight -- 7 or 9 pounds, which is a lot for someone my size. It become immediately noticeable, and I got a lot of comments. I was pleased, but losing weight was never my intention. (It was a combination of my stomach getting really messed up with food poisoning, followed by going to Burning Man and having no appetite, followed by a general lack of appetite. I'm eating though. I'm actually about to have a veggie burger, so don't worry about me.)

What happened when I lost weight was that I lost boob. I ended up having to buy new (padded, push-up! They were the only ones that fit!) bras.

I was staring in the mirror, moaning the loss of my boobs, when I thought, "It can never be perfect, can it? Will you ever be satisfied?"

I stared at myself, and saw my clavicles sticking out. I recalled a NYT article on how women were only considered thin enough if their clavicles were sticking out. After the article, many women began obsessing. "Is it sticking out?" I even stared in the mirror to see the protrusion of my clavicle.

Why do we do this? Why can't we just love who we are? I decided I'm sick of hating, and am trying to love and enjoy my body. Smaller boobs mean less fat so maybe I'll run faster? I know that beauty comes from within, and I wouldn't someone to not love me or want me because I was too small -- how shallow, and how obviously not worth my time.

Love yourself. Run, eat cake, do whatever. Don't let the fashion industry and the media tell you you are fat.


"you're an endorphin junkie. it's worse than heroin. if you don't run, you like, freak."
--patrick to me

patrick, you are so right. as i get more and more involved in the ultrarunning community, i find it more addictive. i haven't lost my zeal and lust for life otherwise -- going to visit rosa tonight (maybe hiking or apple picking or baking), nyc decompression next weekend, still working on my halloween costume, really enjoying wine lately, tea as autumn comes in. but still -- i think things like, "hmmm, the san diego 100 you say? might be a nice way to spend my 30th birthday." (on second thought, that's probably a terrible way to spend your birthday -- sweaty, stinky, hallucinating, oh joy! hahah!)

i signed up for a 100k next may the weekend before my birthday, and am seriously pondering doing the san francisco north face challenge 50 miler in dec. i've been having some good, tough, fast runners -- and have had runner's high twice this week! i don't need caffeine, i just need a good run.

it helps that most of my good friends are runners. when we do a relay, it's more like a party than anything else. i'll be hosting my second annual post-nyc-marathon potluck pigout this year (lots of running followed by lots of food -- what's better than that?). so being a runner is so natural when many of your friends are runners.

but not everyone is a runner. that's okay. i still like to drink mojitos, wear fairy wings, dance, sing, read poetry, look at art, and i can do that with you. yes, YOU!

thank you for speaking up; f* you to sarah palin

13 October 2008

life can be

full of homemade apple pies and amazing mojitos and dancing at hookah bars surrounded by smoke and egyptian boys and the italian navy and champagne-infused love speeches at wedding and long runs along the beach with good friends and dancing in high heels and it feeling normal and filling up a large tote bag at the farmer's market and smiling to your grandma,

"yeah, i'm happy."

and sometimes there are ups and sometimes there are downs but mostly, i'm running towards the rainbow.

12 October 2008

ready, set, TRAVEL!

so i bought my plane tickets to ecuador and i'm going there for three weeks! i can't wait! finally, another trip...

i plan to:
  • go on some sort of jungle tours/exploring the rain forest
  • surf
  • chill on the beach
  • hike
  • meet cool new people
  • go to the galapagos islands
  • improve my spanish
oooh and something different...crista will be with me for the latter two weeks of my trip. should be fun (and lots of running!).

races for 2009

who knew? the umstead 100 (a 100 mile race in april with a very high finishing rate) is already full! i'm really bummed b/c this is right by my little sister's house, so i could've probably conned her into pacing me (or at least crewing me). oh well, next year.

i need to start figuring out next year's racing schedule. tentatively, i'm thinking:

sarasota half marathon
april's big sur marathon
ultimate xc - jay & quebec (possibly)
vt 100 miler
vt 50 miler

other races i'm thinking of include the boulder 100, avenue of the giants marathon, costa rica challenge, hood to coast, and many others. i'm trying to find some 50ks, 50 milers, and 100 milers between now and june to prep for my first 100 miler. i'm open to any suggestions.
nyc marathon

09 October 2008

rumi poem

"The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was,
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along"

Rumi (1207-1273)

06 October 2008

wouldn't it be nice if...

...life were about dancing in fake-fur costumes until 5am, under a haze of delicious drinks, followed by sleeping until you're no longer tired, long runs after the rains, and cooking complicated recipes while drinking cups of delicious english tea, eating homemade ice cream, and reading on the couch, sprawled out with a cat at your feet?

02 October 2008

register to vote, people!

mccain is scary, i think venessa is more qualified than palin for vp (she lives 2 miles from canada! she knows all abt foreign policy, right v?), so please, register to vote so we can barack the vote.

  • you want to end this war in iraq
  • you value freedom -- freedom of choice, of voice
  • you are pro-choice and respect women
  • you realize abstinence only education does not work (palin should as well, seeing as how her teenage daughter is pregnant)
  • money for books and education, not for war and occupation!
and so many other reasons.

01 October 2008

bart yasso quote

running inspires creativity, relieves stress, and gives us insight into ourselves and the world, making the human condition more tolerable.

--bart yasso

why i love nyc

because there are signs saying "did you 'misunderestimate' your closet space?" on the subway