18 December 2005

pondering at work

i feel like i'm being boring lately. everything in my life seems routine or habit. have i settled into a habitual routine favored by most americans? please tell me no. i have a third job, just for two weeks, so i've been quite busy. all the money i'm making from that job i'm putting into a special bank account just for the purpose of saving money for a trip. i never have time for me. to write, to paint, to practice yoga, to do what i love to do. instead i'm running around, swilling wine at holiday parties, discussing existentialism with a stranger on the train, making t's holiday scarf, working, working, working, not sleeping, ignoring piles of dirt and dust bunnies in my apartment, holiday shopping...i wonder if there is a way to pry myself out of this rut. wait, i know! i can take a trip!

No comments: