27 November 2005
what you're supposed to want, do, think, feel, act: a revolution against traditional thought
i'm thinking about what i should be doing and who i should be and i'm glad i'm not that. i'm 26 years old, working two part-time professional jobs (librarian), live alone in new york city, live with my cat, my parents help me out with things like buying me a new sweater or fixing my air conditioner and whatnot, my boyfriend lives ages away and we are on the verge of breaking up, i can barely afford my rent, much less a down payment on a house (god forbid an apartment! how would the children grow up without a backyard of their own!), yet i'm dreaming of my next trip, and i spend my weekends doing errands, cooking health food, going out to bars or clubs with friends, getting smashed and enjoying it....and i think of 26 years old, and there are 26 year olds who are married with children and large rocks on their fingers and a mini-van or at least an SUV and children crying, crying, and shopping at walmart talking about their husband's finances and affairs and drama over housepainters and gardeners and getting the heat fixed and weeding and non-tacky holiday decorations and i realize, i'm glad i'm free and young and a radical and a writer and a reader and a lover of the world, and not trapped into some miserable suburban lifestyle i always knew i would never settle for.