19 November 2005
I went to my holistic doctor and got the results of my allergy test back: I should abstain from dairy and gluten. This means T and I are breaking up b/c he doesn't want to be with someone who can't eat his infamous garlic bread (He made fun of me when I told him I might be allergic and said he didn't want to be with me if I can't eat anything). He'll find a nice New England girl with something to grab onto who eats anything without any concern for pesticides or that an animal died for it or allergies. I'm really depressed, and especially at the holidays. Egg nog! Pfferneuse! Cheese, dairy, wheat gluten everywhere. I'm a vegetarian who can't eat dairy or gluten. I'm so depressed. I need to leave NYC because pizza and bagels with cream cheese, two NYC staples, I cannot eat. I wish I never went to the holistic doctor, who cares if my bone density is messed up from my asthmatic drugs? I'm really depressed now about this whole thing, especially at holiday time. Living without asthma just may be a dream idiots who smoke can have. Me, I'm taking one step at a time, one puff (of medication) at a time. Who knows? Maybe I'll lose that fat I've been dying to since I apparently can't eat anything at all.