wagathon50k

I did the Wagathon 50k last Sunday. Exactly a week after my fastest marathon, I found myself running a fairly technical 50k. There were some carriageways (which I excel at!), brooks to trip/run over, leaves, logs to run on, and the dreaded lemon squeeze (which made my arms hurt the neck day -- imagine squeezing through rocks, climbing ladders, scrambling from rock to rock, for abt an hour after you've already run 22 miles or so). I did it with Crista (who had been planning on running just 13 miles but of course, couldn't stop!). It was a beautiful run, and I got to meet some interesting ultrarunners, learn about new races, and obviously, run!

This weekend feels kind of empty...I've done races the past two weekends, and am used to long-ass weekend runs. In fact, I'm starting to look forward to them and they even seem normal. Yesterday I ran 23 miles or so, during torrential downpours and sunshine at the end. I ran rather fast towards the beginning, but slowed up at the end (as is typical) and felt tired, but I love having a mini-adventure with every long run.

fiction

I am editing something I wrote several years ago, and am in love with this section:

I’m contemplating these things to Tiara who says, while dipping a French fry in a disgusting combination of mayo, ketchup, mustard, and hot sauce, “Well, if you’re unhappy, end it.”
“But it’s not – I’m not miserable. I’m just – I’m not ecstatic. It’s okay. It’s like – it’s like – “
“It’s like a job that’s not that great but not horrendous and pays the bills and enough for a night of drinking and it’s just easier to stay as opposed to having to update your resume and start the job hunt because, hey, the coffee’s free, the benefit are good, and you’re not ready to go postal.”


i think that's part of the problem -- people let things slide too long. as le tigre says, "mediocrity rules." so many people let their jobs, lives, kids, happiness slide along because of laziness. i say, "chuck that attitude." take the other fork in the road -- sure, the journey is more arduous and you will be overwhelmed and emotional and broke, but you'll follow your heart -- and that's always worth living for in the end.

oh, yes, a car!

oh....mmmm...drive fast, speed turns me on!


side note: a few weeks ago, Shawn and Mark were discussing my future, and when i told Shawn proudly, "I never want kids or to own a car," Shawn was shocked. "Cherie!" I was ready to fight back until I heard his words. "I can understand not wanting kids -- I mean that's a personal decision...but not wanting a car!!!" But oh, that video reminded me and put me in the mood...to drive baby!

this would SO not be me

if a fox were gnawing at my arm, i would not keep running with it so i could get it tested for rabies. some people are so hardcore it scares me.

girl, by blake nelson

'...thinking how incredibly stupid I was if I expected life to be anything else but failed love and mindless sex and crying all night in bus stations.'

This is one of my favourite books. I've re-read this so many times, yet still adore it. In high school, it held so much meaning for me (especially as my preppy friend Darcie dissed me and I got involved in the underground culture of indie rock and riot grrrl and hardcore shows and raves (diverse, I know)). Right now if I hadn't lent it to Crista, I would re-read it. Instead, I'll know that life is beyond long plane rides, choking back tears, eating chocolate after extremely long runs, sitting in corners, wiping dust bunnies and tears away with the same hand.

29 year old crisis

I'm feeling like I'm at another turning point in my life.

I don't think I'm going to go crazy and quit my job and travel. If I had the money, I definitely would. For now, my travel involves Argentina next month and short trips throughout the country to various ultramarathons.

But I'm feeling what I felt when I had my quarter-life crisis. Laugh if you will, but in my 25^th year, my unhappiness overwhelmed me (I was working at a corporate library and finishing grad school and my boyfriend had just moved out) and I realized traveling might have some answers. I do find answers when I travel, a lot more than when I'm rotating around the same cycle of Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-half-day-Friday-freedom on Saturday and Sunday, crammed with cooking, errands, running extremely long distances, seeing friends, cleaning, sleeping, farmers' market, drinks/dancing, etc. I feel so stuck right now it scares me.

I can't see my future any more. I'm sick of discussing career management and career progression. My career is moving really slow. I really do enjoy my job, but so much of the management/HR-talk really frustrates me. I like my work, but meetings, argh, meetings.

My life plan has changed so many times. If you asked me in the early summer what my plans were, I'd have a carefully crafted plan that has changed so vastly. I don't know what my plans are. I don't know who (if anyone!) I'll even end up spending my life with. That basic question has forced me to reevaluate everything. I don't know where I'll live. The more I get into ultrarunning, the more I want to live someplace else – with amazing trails, maybe some forests and mountains. I admit I do love the trails in the northeast, but not sure I want to stay around here. I do need to be close to the ocean or I'll shrivel up and die. My summertime beach addiction means I need to be by water year round, even if I only run by it in the winter – and no, rivers don't care. I need crashing waves. I need a place to surf (even if I suck at it) and to watch the mysteries that spill forth with each rolling wave.

For the longest while, I have talked about traveling extensively – doing a 1-2 year trip around Latin America, Asia, and OZ/NZ. If I want to do this trip, I need to start saving hardcore and re-organizing how I spend my money and vacation.

In the next year, I have plans to go to Argentina (vacation: Dec-Jan), Boston (Boston Marathon: April), Big Sur (Big Sur Marathon: April), PA (Laurel Headlands 70 mile: June), maybe Hawaii (vacation: June), Vermont (VT100 miler: July), Oregon (Hood to Coast Relay: August), Burning Man (August-Sept), Vermont (VT 50 miler: September), not sure where else. Yes, it's a lot (and A LOT of running!). I need to not spend so much and try to save more.

I've gone through a lot of change the past year. Burning Man opened up a whole side of me, reminding me there is so much more to life than the everyday. Spending more time with good friends like Rosa has tapped deeper into me.

An old classmate sent me an email, telling me about the writing and traveling she has done. In the midst of deadlines and too many cc: emails and the subway never coming and heavy groceries and stained carpets and not enough sleep and expensive plane tickets and long, long runs and empty GU wrappers and backstabbing friends, I know there is so much more.

The real question is: can I tap into it and tap into myself now? Or must I exit my present situation to explore and advance?

secret single habits

there's an episode of sex and the city where carrie talks abt her secret single habits. she likes to eat stacks of saltines standing up in her kitchen reading fashion magazines. i like to read natural living and vegetarian nutrition eco-friendly magazines (thanks, v, for always passing them along!) while eating dinner. i like to blast cheesy music (or sometimes not so cheesy), listening to a certain obnoxious song on repeat for hours, singing along each and every time. i like to take long baths with stacks of books next to the tub for whatever i decide to read at that moment. i like to write in my journal, propped up by enormous stacks of pillows. i like to spend weekends getting up early to run long, going to the farmers' market, making yummy breakfasts in my kitchen while reading good books and writing v letters, baking and making involved and amazing soups, drinking endless pots of tea, spending too long getting ready and meeting friends for a night of fun, drinks, dance, and whatever kind of debauchery we can engage ourselves in, coming home tipsy and sitting in bed with my cat, drinking lots of water and eating pretzels, getting crumbs everywhere, laughing, singing, so happy to be alive and free.

what are your secret single habits? you might even be partnered but the second your beloved is gone, you may find yourself eating dinner on your loveseat (which your partner hates) which is granola with yogurt in the middle of the night or neglecting to do laundry for weeks on end while wearing the same shirt. oh, it can be so fun to feel free and live your secret single life! what's your secret? what will YOU never give up?

what i was doing this afternoon

hula hooping

today is one of those dreary autumn days with overcast skies, rain, mist, drizzle, pouring, ugliness outside. i was happy in a way since i didn't have any solid plans. i ran an easy 5 miles, went to the farmer's market to get some produce and fresh bread, came home, made yummy breakfast, rachelle came over and enjoyed some of my new amazing tea from my favourite tea shop in nyc and we chatted. after rachelle left, i enjoyed some alone time, have been doing some editing on my novel (that i've so neglected for way too long!) and have been hula hooping. i love the internet because whatever you're into, you can find information on it (especially if you're a librarian!). i've been watching instructional videos all day by this rad woman who i took a hula workshop with at burning man, and i'm def going to groove hoops on monday so i can improve on some of my skills.

overall, it's been relaxing. i still haven't decided on next races, next steps. i'm doing a 50k tomorrow, the wagathon, and it's funny how easy that feels/sounds..."oh just a 50k."after, i hope to see my favourite cousin jonathan.

right now, i've moved the furniture and my hoop is calling me! back to hooping!

just for fun!

i am in the top 11.7% of all marathoners in sunday's nyc marathon, top 4.9% of women, and top 3.0% of those in my age group (20-29, women AND men!). yay!

nyc marathon 2008: 3:32!!!

this photo is of me after grabbing some pretzels at mile 8. yum. my tummy was a wreck before then (which is not a good thing!)

this year's new york city marathon was exciting! it always is. i felt a little nervous since i've been training for longer races (i have done three ultras since late june!), and thus, running slower, but apparently the longer races really prepped me. mentally, it was easier. after twenty minutes of running, my stomach started hurting, and i thought, "well, only about three more hours of running." ultrarunning preps you so that marathons seem like short runs. pretty crazy.

the race day started out cold. i was nervous b/c i hadn't had a BM in a few days. (does this seem like a dangerous dan entry? hah!) i wasn't feeling too hot, but was cheered by mark and shawn on the ferry. we stretched together, and then i left them as i was an orange start -- starting on the upper left of the verazzano narrows bridge (staten island).

i was hanging out with a group of australian runners (more than 50% of nyc marathon runners are from other countries), chatting about the race, about what we would drink afterwards. we all nervously chatted during the star spangeled banner (and the sound kept going in and out) and all of the sudden, the gun!

"we started?" i shrieked to the ozzies.

"i guess so!"

the start was below 40; i ran across the bridge in a thick ugly powder blue fleece. shortly after i emerged from the bridge (panting, it was pretty tough on the uphill), i tossed it to an eager spectator with outstretched arms.

brooklyn. 4th avenue. the bands. the spectators. cheering. little kids with their hands out. people already standing there with boxes of bananas (which seem revolting to me while running). my stomach started hurting, but i thought, "ah, a half hour passed, just three more hours."

there are over 2.5 million spectators in this race, so it's an absolutely amazing race for any runner to do -- whenever you feel down, there's someone yelling, "go PINK! GO PINK!" it's an absolute blast. there's the band that plays the rocky theme song repeatedly as the marathoners go by.

i saw my boss at mile 7, and then my parents and friends were at mile 8. i turned onto lafayette in fort greene, my favourite place of the race. it's early enough where you are still fresh and feeling good and pushing yourself, with tons of people, great music (an amazing african drumming group really pushed me), and oh yeah, TONS of obama fans!

turning onto bedford is always an experience. the hasidic jewish people ignoring the runners, a woman walking across the street with a stroller, acting oblivious. quickly we entered latino williamsburg (yay! always great cheering!) and then hipster williamsburg. soon, into greenpoint, MY hood! i felt great, esp when i saw rachelle.

long island city was great b/c gwendolyn was there with a hot pink sign -- lovely surprise! i was ecstatic. my stomach throughout was bothering me, but i kept forcing myself to eat and drink and take endurolytes and drink gatorade.

i felt good on the bridge. i have done hill repeats on the bridge many times, but on marathon sunday, ugh, i really felt the incline. once i got to the top, i pushed myself down.

and onto 1st avenue!

1st avenue gives you goosebumps. you'd have to be dead to not get them, so says one famous runner. there are people so thick the people in the back can't see the course, but everyone is screaming, holding signs, going nuts. bars and restaurants hold marathon brunches, people are hanging out of windows. it's amazing. my stomach really started hurting me, but i forced down another gel and pushed on.

at 90th st, i saw my coworker john who went absolutely nuts. it really cheered me up. a block later, crista and tray and my parents. i got some gummy bears, forced them down, kept going.

on the willis avenue bridge, i decided, "i will not let the bronx get me down." and i didn't. i kept pushing.

i saw sin-d walking her little dog and it totally cheered me up. i grabbed an orange from someone. i kept going.

my stomach hurt me. i ran in harlem, cheering on the obama fans, them cheering me on. great music. passed a bunch of people.

saw the fam again just before i entered central park. in the park, i really started to get emotional.

"i won't run 3:25 [my goal] but i'll def PR." i kept pushing myself.

i passed people, i soaked in the screams and the cheers.

and i finished in 3:32! i was so emotional i almost started crying. immediately, i felt dizzy and a volunteer walked with me, but soon i recovered. i downed a bottle of water, and met my mom (with a magic cookie bar; thanks, mom!) after seeing shawn. it was so great.

after, we all gathered at my apt to eat food, drink sangria, and talk running. and those are my favorite things in life.

nyc marathon 2008: 3:32!!!

2009

i'm trying to figure out my 2009 racing schedule. so far i have:

boston marathon? april
big sur marathon OR avenue of the giants marathon april/may
100k (last weekend in may) in NJ
70 mile laurel headlands june
vt 100 miler
vt 50 miler
nyc marathon

is that too many races? i also want to cram in the occasional half marathon, maybe even a trail ultra in FL if i can fit it in....

i really want to do the san francisco north face challenge 50 miler next month...haven't fully decided, and need to asap!

the big o

words cannot explain the ecstasy i feel now that we have elected barack obama the president of the united states -- the first black president. i am ecstatic!

voting=presents?

election day is trying to become our favorite holiday. tomorrow, you can get free vibrators at babeland, free ice cream at ben & jerry's, or free coffee at starbucks.

i'm still not sure what i'm doing on election day; i may snub all of the bar parties and do my laundry and drink excessively until election results are announced. c'mon obama!

cherie needs advice: should i stay or should i run?

i'm having difficulty making a decision.

after i ran the vt 50 miler, i became addicted. that high...oh, it was amazing. (or maybe it was all the cake i consumed while running?) i want do do another 50 miler...so badly. i really want to do a 100k.

why? b/c once you do one, you crave more...even those times at the vt50 miler, when i was dealing with tummy troubles, i still was having fun.

so i want to do the san fran north face challenge...it's supposed to be a great race, lots of fun. it all comes down to money. should i spend $300 on plane fare, $100 or whatever it is on race fees, and assorted other moneys (food, etc.) to do one race? i can probably stay with an old college friend, but i also don't know how i'm getting in and out of SF to the race (which is a 30 min ride outside of the city).

i want to do another race before i go to argentina...but should i pick one more local? the only ones i can really do within driving distance are the mendoza 50k one week after the nyc marathon (ouch!) or the fells trail race on nov 29. should i save my money for doing lots of ultras next year? probably. but i can't decide...this looks so fun.

travel updates

i'm going to argentina instead of ecuador.

i will tango my way into your heart. or stumble.

i may stop at uruguay along the way. plans include patagonia, iguazu falls, buenos aires, hitting up the coast (beaches! surfing! sun!). maybe tierra del fuego instead of patagonia?

you'll miss me over the holidays, but we can eat those red & green m&ms in the new year.

i think i'm going to take up a gentler sport...like football

who knew running was a contact sport?

of all the crazy trail races i do, the time i get the most injured running is in front of a club in my neighborhood on a street i've probably run down 100 times. i was running with crista, chatting abt nyc decompression (we went on sat and had a blast -- i'll post photos soon) when suddenly, i was tripping over a piece of sticking up concrete and hit the pavement and SLID! the palms of my hands are covered in cuts and are sore (and typing is slightly painful), my right shoulder is missing a large hunk of skin, there are cuts, scrapes and bruises on my elbow and legs and knees. ow.

then, this morning, miserable rain, gale-force winds, i did my last speed run (15 min tempo at MGP, 8xaccelerations of 150-200 meters) and just as i was finishing my tempo run (which i actually planned on doing 20 min), i slid as i was pushing it across the street. luckily, there were no cars, but i completely slid into a puddle, slamming into the ground. my left knee was throbbing, my gloves and pants were soaked, and i was more miserable than i have been in a while. my palms are still smarting from sunday's smash into concrete, and my shoulder is aching and it hurts to lift my arm.

but you know what? i'm so psyched for sunday's nyc marathon!

happenings: excerpts from my second grade journal

March 18, 1987
My wish would be that if Ann-Marie could be my sister. We would be sisters forever. I wish it we were sisters. Then we would get bunk beds. I would have such fun. I would love for Ann-Marie to be my sister.

April 6, 1987
Today is Monday, April 6, 1987. We have been having a lot of rain. When it rains I go downstairs and take my sister and play dress-up. I said, "I'm the mother and you're the baby." And I like to play with my hamsters. When we play dress up I put on the fanciest dress, hat, coat, and a fancy purse. And I dress up my sister too. I always have fun!
And sometimes I play school and read. I read my library books too.

May 11, 1987
Fun!
Last week was my commioun [sic]. It was fun. In the church when my brother recieved the host he put it in his pocket. I had fun on my ommoiun [sick]. At the party I got one toy. It was a little bear that said "You're tops." It was from Eryn. I ate zita and hero and salad and juice. My mom made a punch with Lemonaid, Fruit Punch and Gingeral [sic]. My aunt let the kids drink until my mom saw Erin take some. The cake was good! I had fun on my commoiun. I had to read long loines on the aulter [sic]. The lord is my shepard.
This entry has a scary picture of me standing on an alter. I mean, an aulter, with a blinking microphone. Ah, the eighties.

May 18, 1984
Today is Monday, May 18, 1984. I had fun at my cousin Michelle's party. We had fun. Kristeena brought two whooler whoops [sic]. When we ate the cake I sat next to Michelle. She was the sloopiest [sic] eater. Michelle got a kitchen set. She was only one years old! My Aunt gave us party bags. In the party bags I got a bracelet, a twinkie, a mint, and a tootsie roll pop. We had fun.
On Sunday I went over Nicole's house. First we had a swirl pop. Then the ice cream man came and we got ice cream. I had fun!
The person downstairs of Nicole's house moved! We played hide 'n seek down there. We had lemonade and heat doritos! We watched the Wizard of Oz! "Boy," did we have fun!! I had fun when my Grandma came over! I missed her. She went to Florida.

June 3, 1987
Today is Wednesday, June 3, 1987. Yesterday we went to Bethpage Village. First we took the bus on the trip. I sat with Rebecca. We talked. I brought a little game in my pocket called Ring Toss. Then we went to Bethpage and went to the gift shop. I bought a little pink china doll. I was going to buy a rabbits foot but I thought of my rabbit being killed. We ate lunch after. I sat with Ann-Marie, Theresa, and Lisa Ann. We saw a movie. It was about the olden days. It was a really good movie. I wanted to see the Village. Last we went on the bus. I sat with Rebecca again. We played Ring Toss again. We talked. We opened our gifts and played with them. I had a good time at Bethpage. We had no homework.

June 5, 1987
Summer Fun
Today is Friday, June 5, 1987. IN summer I like to go to the beach. I like to eat lunch at the beach and make sand castles and swim. I like to walk and pick up shells. I like to get a sun tan.
One time I made a sandcastle that needed water. It was close to the water. At the beach I always have fun.

naomi wolf quote

the real issue has nothing to do with whether women wear makeup or don't, gain weight or lose it, have surgery or shun it, dress up or down, make out clothing and faces and bodies into works of art or ignore adornment of it altogether, the real problem is our lack of choice.

happenings: excerpts from my second grade journal

Today is October 14.
The rain is wet.
But it's not dry.
I feel mad because I'm having Ann-Marie over my house today, and we will not be able to go outside.
So we will go downstairs, and my sister's friend Eryn will come over.
Well when we're in the basement, they come down and put on the record player and put on the song, Rain Rain, go away, Come again another day.
By the way my sister has the prize popple. I love my sister, but I hate, Eryn.
I like rainbows.

Today is Monday, November 24, 1986.
I feel happy because I got two gerbils on Friday, and one Saturday we got more. We have three [sick] mails.
I like them a lot.
There [sic] names are Midnight, Orange, and Da. [I don't remember these; they must not have lived long.]
They eat raisins and cherries.

December 15, 1986
Christmas is coming.
There are only ten days till Christmas. I feel good because my sister is always a chatterbox so I won't get sleep and I can see Santa Claus. I wonder what he will give my brother and my sister and me! He puts small things in your stocking. I wonder how the elves are working? I will give Santa Claus cookies and milk. I will give the raindeer [sick] carrots and cerly [sic]. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Today is January 5, 1987.
On Christmas I got a Furskin, a radio, a baton, a bookmark and the Heart Family Playhouse from Santa. I got My Child and the My Child Stroller. And Fluppy Puppy. I got Miss Piggy lip glass and Miss Piggy nail polish.
My brother wanted his prensent [sic] early. He cried. I gave it to him. So did my sister. She did no give anybody anything. My grandma got something specil [sic], her ears pearced [sick]]. I saw Mary Poppins.
Ann-Marie sleept [sic] over. We stayed in bed till 11:59. We had popcorn.

Today is Wednesday, January 7, 1987. After school I like to play with Ann-Marie. We play with our dolls, we play barbie, dress-up, and drawing.
Sometimes we watch T.V. But we say "Melissa you can't play." Then she cries. Then we play. We go outside.

clavicles as a sign of beauty

In our country, thinness=beauty. It's our national obsession here in the U.S. (and in many other countries as well). I wonder if there is a correlation between the rising obesity crisis and our obsession with thinness and hating our bodies?

I am not obese. I'm actually considered thin. I like to think I'm athletic. My arms are thin (though they are growing muscles, which is very exciting), my legs are all muscle ("I want legs like yours. How can I get them?" "Run for 16 years, and focus on ultramarathons and marathons for at least 4 of those years."), but I've always had issues with my stomach. I've hated it, moaned, "I'm so fat," way too many times when I'm not. Why do I engage in this hating?

Recently, I lost a bunch of weight -- 7 or 9 pounds, which is a lot for someone my size. It become immediately noticeable, and I got a lot of comments. I was pleased, but losing weight was never my intention. (It was a combination of my stomach getting really messed up with food poisoning, followed by going to Burning Man and having no appetite, followed by a general lack of appetite. I'm eating though. I'm actually about to have a veggie burger, so don't worry about me.)

What happened when I lost weight was that I lost boob. I ended up having to buy new (padded, push-up! They were the only ones that fit!) bras.

I was staring in the mirror, moaning the loss of my boobs, when I thought, "It can never be perfect, can it? Will you ever be satisfied?"

I stared at myself, and saw my clavicles sticking out. I recalled a NYT article on how women were only considered thin enough if their clavicles were sticking out. After the article, many women began obsessing. "Is it sticking out?" I even stared in the mirror to see the protrusion of my clavicle.

Why do we do this? Why can't we just love who we are? I decided I'm sick of hating, and am trying to love and enjoy my body. Smaller boobs mean less fat so maybe I'll run faster? I know that beauty comes from within, and I wouldn't someone to not love me or want me because I was too small -- how shallow, and how obviously not worth my time.

Love yourself. Run, eat cake, do whatever. Don't let the fashion industry and the media tell you you are fat.

addict

"you're an endorphin junkie. it's worse than heroin. if you don't run, you like, freak."
--patrick to me

patrick, you are so right. as i get more and more involved in the ultrarunning community, i find it more addictive. i haven't lost my zeal and lust for life otherwise -- going to visit rosa tonight (maybe hiking or apple picking or baking), nyc decompression next weekend, still working on my halloween costume, really enjoying wine lately, tea as autumn comes in. but still -- i think things like, "hmmm, the san diego 100 you say? might be a nice way to spend my 30th birthday." (on second thought, that's probably a terrible way to spend your birthday -- sweaty, stinky, hallucinating, oh joy! hahah!)

i signed up for a 100k next may the weekend before my birthday, and am seriously pondering doing the san francisco north face challenge 50 miler in dec. i've been having some good, tough, fast runners -- and have had runner's high twice this week! i don't need caffeine, i just need a good run.

it helps that most of my good friends are runners. when we do a relay, it's more like a party than anything else. i'll be hosting my second annual post-nyc-marathon potluck pigout this year (lots of running followed by lots of food -- what's better than that?). so being a runner is so natural when many of your friends are runners.

but not everyone is a runner. that's okay. i still like to drink mojitos, wear fairy wings, dance, sing, read poetry, look at art, and i can do that with you. yes, YOU!

thank you for speaking up; f* you to sarah palin

life can be

full of homemade apple pies and amazing mojitos and dancing at hookah bars surrounded by smoke and egyptian boys and the italian navy and champagne-infused love speeches at wedding and long runs along the beach with good friends and dancing in high heels and it feeling normal and filling up a large tote bag at the farmer's market and smiling to your grandma,

"yeah, i'm happy."

and sometimes there are ups and sometimes there are downs but mostly, i'm running towards the rainbow.

ready, set, TRAVEL!

so i bought my plane tickets to ecuador and i'm going there for three weeks! i can't wait! finally, another trip...

i plan to:

• go on some sort of jungle tours/exploring the rain forest
• surf
• chill on the beach
• hike
• meet cool new people
• go to the galapagos islands
  
• improve my spanish

oooh and something different...crista will be with me for the latter two weeks of my trip. should be fun (and lots of running!).

races for 2009

who knew? the umstead 100 (a 100 mile race in april with a very high finishing rate) is already full! i'm really bummed b/c this is right by my little sister's house, so i could've probably conned her into pacing me (or at least crewing me). oh well, next year.

i need to start figuring out next year's racing schedule. tentatively, i'm thinking:

sarasota half marathon
april's big sur marathon
ultimate xc - jay & quebec (possibly)
vt 100 miler
vt 50 miler

other races i'm thinking of include the boulder 100, avenue of the giants marathon, costa rica challenge, hood to coast, and many others. i'm trying to find some 50ks, 50 milers, and 100 milers between now and june to prep for my first 100 miler. i'm open to any suggestions.
nyc marathon

rumi poem

"The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was,
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along"

Rumi (1207-1273)

wouldn't it be nice if...

...life were about dancing in fake-fur costumes until 5am, under a haze of delicious drinks, followed by sleeping until you're no longer tired, long runs after the rains, and cooking complicated recipes while drinking cups of delicious english tea, eating homemade ice cream, and reading on the couch, sprawled out with a cat at your feet?

register to vote, people!

mccain is scary, i think venessa is more qualified than palin for vp (she lives 2 miles from canada! she knows all abt foreign policy, right v?), so please, register to vote so we can barack the vote.

reasons:

• you want to end this war in iraq
• you value freedom -- freedom of choice, of voice
• you are pro-choice and respect women
• you realize abstinence only education does not work (palin should as well, seeing as how her teenage daughter is pregnant)
• money for books and education, not for war and occupation!

and so many other reasons.

bart yasso quote

running inspires creativity, relieves stress, and gives us insight into ourselves and the world, making the human condition more tolerable.

--bart yasso

why i love nyc

because there are signs saying "did you 'misunderestimate' your closet space?" on the subway

Runners, Yeah We're Different

I was running with this guy, and we were talking about Crista's swelling fingers (more salt, baby!) and he said, "Well, make sure you're peeing enough. Have you peed yet?" No, I told him, but I would at the next aid station (mile 25). "Make sure you do," he told me. Then he said,

"You know, it's weird, but normally, you don't talk to people of the opposite sex about these sort of things."

I know exactly what he means! I was telling runners, "Yeah, my stomach has been totally wrecked, and I keep running behind a tree," and they would reply, "Oh, that sucks. Have you tried Ginger Ale?" So, all you non-runners reading this blog, runners are different. Poop and pee and whatever else, it's all part of the long run, especially for ultra-runners.

Runners. Yeah, we're different.

full report: VT50 miler!

VT 50 mile overall result: 11 hours 06 minutes 33 seconds!

i was super excited for this race--my friend mason told me it was an amazing race, and reading postings on sherpa john's blog really excited me. so i decided to do it, and my fabulous friend crista decided to do it with me. yay!

i got up at ten of five, ate a bagel with pb&j, and got ready in our hotel room that was literally, right next door to the race start. we headed out the door in time for the 5:45a.m. race meeting. we all focused on success in the port-a-potties (which we all had, yay!), stretching, and getting nervous. i finally met sherpa john, and wished our good lucks to each other.

the race started at 6:45, and we started slowly and easily. crista and i started the race chatting, asking each for advice and admiring the beauty of the course. the first few miles were relatively easy, and we walked or ran slowly the hills and inclines.

we skipped the first aid station, filled up on water and ate very little at the second. at the third aid station, we saw our good friend shawn, who was there with cookies, cheer, and our drop bags. i replaced two gels that i had already eaten, and shawn told us how strong and great we looked.

we left shawn and proceeded down the road. crista was not feeling so great -- her fingers were swelling a TON and her wrist started swelling and she felt dizzy. i was asking fellow runners, and we thought it had to do with salt. i asked at the next aid station -- they had no clue. i encouraged her to eat more salt, and she tried to ignore the discomfort.

i was slightly ahead of crista at the aid station around mile 25. i ate some cake (coffee cake, yum!) and other random foods, and was taking my endurolytes every hour, at a minimum. i also peed, which was good, showing that i was drinking enough. i lost crista behind me a little.

there were a LOT of downhills between 25 and 30.2 i really hammered those hills, running fast, feeling strong. the other runners were super encouraging: "wow, you got it! you are looking strong!" i felt great.

at 30.2, i saw shawn again. i pulled some gels and gummy bears and pretzels from my drop bag, replenishing what i ate. shawn gave me some m&ms, and i ate a big handful. and i was off. shawn said i looked strong, and i felt great.

several miles later, my stomach felt a wreck. "maybe too many m&ms?" i wondered. i persevered...until i had to stop to go to the bathroom behind a bush. and again. and again. and again.

runners i had passed a while back passed me, and i struggled to keep up with them. a friendly runner saw me coming from behind a tree, and i asked her if she had anything. she sympathized, and checked but didn't have anything. i made it to the next aid station, where the volunteers didn't have anything. (note to self: always carry immodium on long runs!!!) but drank ginger ale. i never drank ginger ale in my life, but slowly sipped a can while running slowly with this other woman. "my stomach is a wreck, i can't eat anything. i'm only drinking coke!" she was awesome. i let her go ahead as i had to head behind a tree again. ugh.

i mostly ran, though found myself reduced to walking on some uphills i normally would have been able to run on without any problems. at the next aid station, i drank more ginger-ale, and took a bunch of peppermints, which slightly helped. my stomach issues continued, and i was so upset at how i felt, but knew there was nothing i could do. duck behind a tree, go, and head back out and persevere.

i saw shawn again at mile 40. despite earlier threats, crista did not drop out, and he said she wasn't so far behind me at mile 30. i was relieved, and drank more ginger ale and grabbed another large fistful of peppermints. i ran on to the next aid station -- that's how i ran this race, thinking in terms of the next aid station (especially the next ginger ale). it felt like forever. lots of ups and downs and switchbacks, and i ran alone much of the time. my stomach sent me off the trail once more, but i felt very weak. i tried to eat some pretzels and continued to take endurolytes, but felt like hell.

when i finally arrived at the final aid station, i was so drained. i drank more ginger ale and ate two large fistfuls of animal crackers, which were great. i'm going to run with them at all the ultras i do!

it began raining as i started my final section, and certain parts were incredibly muddy and so slippery. since the path was at the edge of a drop-off, i worried i'd fall off, and ran when i could, but ended up walking, as most others were doing.

seeing the 1 mile sign got me extremely emotional, and i had tears in my eyes. i tried to run as hard as i could, but felt delusional and weak. i finished strong, running down the hill, with my arms in the air. i was SO happy!

the course was absolutely beautiful. i wish i had ran with a camera. the trees were absolutely beautiful, changing. because it was a misty day, the view was gorgeous and peaks were covered with this lovely mist at the top. the weather was mid 50s-high 60s -- perfect, although it was a tad humid at times (and overwhelming almost).

i'm sore today, but okay. i think i would be worse if i had run hard during those tummy trouble miles. i also think i probably could have run 30 minutes faster if i didn't have those problems, but either way, i'm really pleased with my time of 11 hours.

the verdict? i'm an addict. i definitely want to do this race again next year. it was extremely well-organized, i had SO much fun, the bikers were super nice and added an interesting element, and i really like running for LONG periods of time.

next up: i want to find a good 100k, run some more 50 miler races. and i think a 100 miler may be in my future. i'm not sure which one, but sometime in the next year or two, i'll be looking towards a 100 miler!


*note: pictures to come! once shawn sends me photos, i'll post them*

i did it!

i finished the vermont 50 miler!!!!!

what i did at burning man...amongst other things

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why i love my friends: because they say things on my voicemail like this:

"i don't know if the teased hair and the horns would work."

something that just popped into my head...

life would be easier if i didn't ask any questions. if i just glided along, accepting what i'm supposed to accept (job, relationship, marriage, children, retirement, house in the suburbs, american dream), it would be so much smoother and easier. would i be happy? no. maybe content. i would be okay. just okay. should i have done that?

asking questions is my style. complicating things is my style. it's more interesting. it helps me grow, live, explore, reach out, and be.

next steps

stop trying to figure stuff out. sometimes, when you hit a downhill, you just have to go with it. slide into that downhill. move those legs faster.

you can cry. it's okay. you can shout, you can dance. you eat a hot fudge sundae. dance in your living room like a maniac. kiss your best friend and say, "that was nice." sleep with a stuffed animal. do whatever it is you aren't supposed to do. don't question. just go with it.

i'm going to buy a plane ticket. talk to boss first, make sure time off is okay. then buy a plane ticket. someplace warm with a beach, surfing, jungles, hiking, and fun. probably ecuador. or maybe panama. no, argentina. or chile.

just go with it. do what feels right. stop questioning. stop stressing. stop these "you didn't take the garbage out" stresses.

lift your hands to the sky. wear all white, or nothing at all. enjoy each and every moment.

send a chocolate bar to someone you love in the mail -- a really good, fair-trade organic bar. tell your mother you love her. take your grandmother some home-baked cookies. masturbate with the lights on. tell someone on the subway they look beautiful.

smile. live. be.

follow my own advice.

Gloria Steinem Quote

"If men could menstruate ... clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much.... Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammed Ali’s Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields—”For Those Light Bachelor Days.”"

superchunk "throwing things"

I'm blowing up the street like a leaf
I skin my back a few times you'll see
Head over heels, my hands on my heart
I'm making a promise, and that's a start

chorus
You're leaving a trail for me
I see you up in the tallest tree
(You're) throwing things down at me
I'm starting to climb, well I'm starting on my knees

Somewhere along the way
Dusk it turns back into day
The sky is orange
The trees lie down against it

Chorus